"Primavera" Eugenio Gignous |
"April is the cruelest month . . . "
writes the poet. That line has confused me for years. Is it cruel?
April is the springiest month, when elementary school teachers paste tulips and
yellow galoshes to bulletin boards, and little old ladies dress up for church
looking like pastel Easter eggs.
But the gardener understands the cruelty of April. The derivation
of the word April can be traced as far back as Varro, where the etymology, omnia aperit, literally
"it opens everything" may be a reference to the opening of
flowers and trees. I have been thinking about openings lately as I contemplate
the seeds growing in every window sill. Annuals, perennials,
vegetables, and shrubs splay across every surface of my house. Today I ate
my cereal with a tray of zinnias and three naranjillas. For the last few weeks
I have been a witness to the openings of seeds. Birth is an act of violence.
These dry brown seeds burst into life, ripping off their skins, splitting
cotyledons, thrusting root into ground and stem to sky. Sometimes I lean in,
expecting to hear the cries and wails of these infants. We enter this world in
an act of violence, as if to test our mettle and prove our worthiness to cross
the threshold.
April is the most lavish month . . .
"Frühling in Worpswede" Hans am Ende, 1900 |
Even the old, dying maple next to the church parsonage has engaged
in a fit of fecundity. The tree blasts an armada of twirling, papery
helicopters into the parsonage garden. A mini forest of maples has erupted in
the garden, making it difficult for me to tell my annual seedlings from the
young trees. They say plants approaching death often go to flower, a last
effort at immortality. I look to the knobby old tree and then to his sea of
babies. I'm not sure I have the heart to weed them.
April is the maddest month . . .
February stirred in me a restlessness to get outside and start
digging in the dirt; by April, I am consumed with a howling lunacy. For weeks,
the only planterly life I've seen are the seedlings in my window sill. Now
April spews life in every form, across every surface. The eye has no place to
rest. I move around the garden like an ant, delirious and distraught by the
riotous explosion of leaf and limb.
April is the month for madness. We mark the first of April by
acting like fools. In France, the "days of April" (journees
d'avril) refers to a series of violent insurrections against the
government in 1834. In England, they mark St. Mark's Eve (April 24) by sitting
on the church porch to watch the ghosts of those who will die this year pass.
This month I am a fool, a rioter, a ghost. I enter into the garden
and find not asylum, but bedlam; not harmony, but cacophony. The desperation of
winter has blossomed into the desire of spring, and I pass the murderous tulips
with a suspicious eye.
Originally published, April 2010